Testing Testes Testing

First off, thank you everyone for the nice things about Larry. I don't understand how people could say anything bad about such a wonderful person, but some people like to say hurtful things just to hurt other people. Thank you JJ for the song information. I checked out some of their other songs, and they are pretty good too. And thank you for linking to me off your blog as well. That means a lot.

Spys89: At least for the time being, Paul has deleted Larry's blog which had the whole story on it. Maybe someday when he is up to it, he will put it back up, but only time will tell. I don't want to ruin his legacy by trying to remember every detail either. So unless someone else wants to inform you, I'm afraid you will have to wait. Sorry.

So all that aside, this hasn't been a very good week. Ever since I saw that video, I've been in an odd state of mind, but it was worth it to see such love still alive in the world. The cabin was nice, although it rained the whole time I was there which sucked. So I spent the whole weekend watching movies and playing guitar. Could've been worse I guess.

All week since I got back I have been battling with my truck to get my new headlights to work properly. So far the truck is still winning. My dad, my brother (the mechanic) and myself can't figure out the problem. So we took them out and put the stock ones back in. Now we're going to recheck the wiring on the lights while they're out of the truck. It's been a huge headache, because I haven't been able to drive at night. I had to borrow Aaron's (BP) car to go to the cabin last week because I was afraid to drive the truck. At least with the old lights I can drive at night again.

Anyway, so that's been the annoying part of the week. Yesterday, the band started recording our demo. We're doing it ourselves in our practice space with some computer programs, but getting all the kinks out was a pain. I was supposed to lay down drums first, but we had to spend three hours getting all the fine details taken care of first. Finally we could start recording, but we ran out of time pretty quick, so I only got two tracks laid down. But the fact that we are finally making progress is really nice. We're picking it back up on Sunday, so I should be able to get the other tracks down, and hopefully some guitar tracks too.

When I got home from recording, Erik told me to throw my bike in the truck and to go to Demian's. I guess we were going on a big bike ride. So we loaded up and went over there. After getting everything together, we biked to one of D's friend's houses, and had some awesome burritos for dinner. We hung out for a while digesting, and then loaded up the bikes. We had around 15 people with us this time, so I knew it would be intense. D had the trike, I had my cruiser, and Erik had his, and then it was a mix of road bikes, mountain bikes, and cruisers. We ended up biking all over Uptown, down to the river where we hung out for around an hour, and then throw Downtown back to Uptown. All in all the ride was about 4 hours long, and we probably did 15 or 20 miles. I was really tired after because it was 3 AM, and my body was sore from drumming a lot earlier. So I loaded the truck up and headed home. I crashed as soon as I got home and just got up about an hour ago. I really love the sporadic rides through Uptown, especially with that many people. And we get some really interesting stares and comments as we go by too. Probably from the 120 decibels coming from the trike :-P

Today, I decided to go back to the cabin, again. Again I'm going by myself, but I think it will do some good to clear my head. All week I've been in this funk, and I need to get out of it for my own good, and those around me. Unfortunately, since we are recording on Sunday I'll have to come home earlier than I want. I was going to go up last night, but then the bike ride happened and I really wanted to go.

I would really like to offer my condolences to Gabey, who just lost his father last weekend. I haven't lost a parent yet, but I've lost people close to me so I can understand a little of what you're going through. There are lots of people here for you, and I am one as well. Take care of you and yours, and be safe. I'll be thinking about you this weekend too while at the cabin.

And lastly, I would like to wish Rowan a very happy 16th birthday! I don't think he reads my blog, but what the hell, right? I hope you have a great day, and all your wishes come true!

Well that's about it. I'll be back Sunday night, so either then or Monday I should be back here. Everyone take care of themselves and be safe.

-Kevin

LD

Paul created this video for Larry and had it on his blog before he deleted it. I asked him if I could put it up here and he said I could for a while. JJ selected the song, and I'm waiting to hear what it is, so until then, I have no idea. I thought it was a beautiful testament to Larry and wanted everyone who hasn't seen it, to see it. Paul wanted to make sure this video doesn't get onto Youtube, because of fear that people will say nasty things about it or Larry, so please, do not post onto Youtube or make any mean comments. All comments will be deleted immediately.

And while we're on the subject of Larry, the night I heard about his death I couldn't really process what had happened. I was at my aunt and uncle's house, so I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. I went to bed early that night and had some really weird dreams. I woke up around 3 AM and went to smoke a cigarette. While standing in the garage smoking, I had an overwhelming urge to write, so I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing. What came out was a song. I'm not sure if it's any good, because I've never considered myself a songwriter, but I thought I'd post it here for you to see anyways. I eventually want to record it, and I have some music ideas for it too, but we'll see. I don't want to bring it to the band because of the content, so it'll have to be a solo thing. Someday.

Godspeed.

-Kevin

~LD~

suicide isn't painless
and suicide isn't nameless
no matter what you feel
we must come together to begin to heal.

you left this world all too soon
now there's nothing that we can do
and though we knew each other for a short time
I'll always consider you a friend of mine.

you had a hard life, it's true
but now we're all left thinking of you
I wish it didn't have to end this way
there's not much else to say.

We will always love you
and we will always miss you
until that day we see each other again
I'll think of you always, as a friend.