Within A Mile Of Home

An interesting weekend full of ups and downs.

So I went up to Lynn and Doug's place on Friday. I think I got there around 4 or so in the afternoon. Doug was flying, Lynn was running errands, Ryan was sick, James was at a friend's house, and Taylor was hanging out with their neighbor Kallan and Ryan's friend Mik. Since Ryan was sick, it was pretty subdued, at first. We just hung around watching crappy movies on tv for a while. Then James came home. And he brought friends. So all of a sudden it was everyone from before, plus Lynn, James, Jay, Jake, and Tristen. Right around then Mik left for the night, so that helped. But then another friend of Taylor's came over, Jenny, which was even worse because unlike Mik, she likes to talk and has a lot of energy.

Now the house is filled with four fourteen year old boys hopped up on sugar and caffeine. Great. So we all went outside to play some night games (minus Ryan). Just ghost in the graveyard and the like, which I haven't played in like 8 years. It was kinda nice to just be a kid again. After that, we all went downstairs so we wouldn't disturb Ryan. The boys started playing X-Box, and the girls went to Taylor's room to do whatever.

At some point the girls came back out, and wanted to play truth or dare with us. This could be interesting. So we started out, and everyone is nervous and doing truth over and over. Finally Jake (the macho, arrogant one of the group) started doing dares, and they got interesting quick. Started out as lick a sweaty, dirty sock, and progressed from there. At some point a gay comment was thrown into the mix, and Jake just flipped. He started saying all of this homophobic shit, and saying how wrong homosexuality is. Then I started to notice all the quick "fag" or "gay" comments he was making. After a little bit, it really started to get on my nerves, and I had to do my best to control myself. Both internally and externally. I did try and punch holes in his logic, by asking him to explain how something was gay or whatever, but without much success. If he wasn't 14, I probably would have punched him in the face. But that would also raise a lot of questions that I don't want to answer.

I just get so fucking tired of all the ignorance, intolerance, and hatred in the world, you know? Why can't people just accept the fact that homosexuality is not a sin, or a crime, or anything bad at all? We're just like them, but prefer the same sex. Big deal. I've noticed some of my friends share the same, "gays are bad" mentality, and it's really starting to drive me up the wall. Part of me wants to come out to everyone, so I can prove that there is nothing wrong with being gay, but the other part doesn't want to say anything. Mostly out of fear. There are certain individuals I know, although not really friends anymore, that do not like "fagots" and would love to beat the crap out of one to "teach them a lesson". I'm sure if they found out about me, they would love to come after me. We haven't been on the best terms for a couple years, and I can't even remember why. So we do our best to avoid each other. But they're one of the reasons I'm glad I carry a knife with me wherever I go. But I don't expect anything to happen, at least yet, so let's move on.

Finally, around 5 AM the kids started getting tired, and I realized I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me still. Great. So I decided to take a hot shower to wake myself up again. I also downed a pot and a half of coffee and about six mountain dews. I jumped back in the truck and took off. About thirty minutes later, I was getting really tired (surprisingly, what with all the caffeine and sugar I just drank) and was trying to stay awake. I was on I-35 heading north, driving 75 MPH, when all of a sudden a deer runs on to the road about 30 feet in front of me. SHIT! I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could, and hoped I wouldn't hit him. The deer got to the ditch about 3 feet away from my bumper and ran off. I started driving again (thankful no one was following close behind me at the time) and drove the last 5 miles to my first exit. I pulled into a parking lot and just sat there shaking, as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. After smoking a cigarette, I got back on the road and was wide awake. I made the rest of the drive fine, and didn't see another deer the whole way, thankfully.

I got to the cabin at about 8 AM and went straight to bed. I was lying there trying to sleep, when all of a sudden my heart started racing, I started shaking again, I got extremely hot, and I couldn't breath well. I started freaking out and grabbed the fan next to me to try and cool off. I tried to control my breathing, and after about 3 minutes I began to calm down. I don't know what the hell happened, but it scared the shit out of me. I was up there by myself in the middle of nowhere. I would have been screwed if something had happened. But fortunately nothing did.

Woke up a few hours later to more rain. It seems every time I go to the cabin it rains. Oh well. Hung out watching movies and tv for a while and then started playing my bass. I am the temporary bass player for the band, and am in charge of writing the parts for the demo. So I got to work coming up with new riffs and whatnot. I got two songs done, and then had some dinner. Spent the rest of the night watching movies and then went to bed rather early.

Sunday was basically the same, just shorter. I got up around 10, and had to leave at 1 to make it back in time for practice. So after lunch I loaded up the truck and started the long drive home. I got home a little after 4, and practice was at 4:30. Perfect. Went to Wyatt's place and started hammering out the rest of my drum tracks for the album. Got them all done in one or two takes, and then we called it quits. We have to move all the mics and re-due the levels for the guitars, so we're going to wait until Thursday to start recording that. Hung out at home for a while, and then my buddy Anthony called to hang out. He's staying at a hotel with his dad right now, so we went and hung out in the hot tub there for an hour or so. Then we went to Perkins and grabbed a bite to eat. I dropped him off at the hotel and then came home and went to bed.

I didn't do hardly anything today. I woke up and wanted to go play some disc, but Paul wasn't feeling well so he didn't want to go. I suppose I could have gone alone, but what fun is that? So I went on a bike ride around town for a bit, and then went home. I played some drums for a couple of hours, and then hung out with my mom for the night. And now here I am. Pretty boring day.

Tomorrow I have the chiro, and a battle of the bands I might go to. We'll see. My friend's band is playing so it would be cool to see them again. Wednesday my parents are leaving for Idaho for my cousin's wedding. I was going to go with them, but I have to babysit on Thursday/Friday so I can't go. I didn't really care about the wedding, because I think they're boring, but I was really looking forward to the drive. If you haven't figured it out yet, I love to drive. So a 20 hour drive across country is perfect for me. And I thought it would be cool to be in the same state as JJ. Although the wedding is in Coeur d'Alene instead of near Boise. But still, it would have been cool. So JJ, if by some chance you see a gold minivan with a Minnesota plate that says LATER, that's my rents! I doubt it, but you never know.

I'm sure I'll be back on before the weekend, but I'll be babysitting my cousins Thursday/Friday. I just hope I don't have to see Jake again. I don't know if I can control myself again. But it'd be cool to see Tristen, I really like him, and started to bond with him at the cabin. We'll see.

Well that's about it. This seems really long. At least to type it, maybe not to read.

Everyone be well, and take care.

-Kevin

I've been listening to a lot of Flogging Molly lately, and this seemed like a fitting song.