I'm Kevin and this is my life. I'm 22 years old, I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life while working a dead end job, and I'm gay.
Email is in my profile for MSN or whatever.
I don't know how many of you followed Larry's blog, or knew about his story. But his cousin Paul has decided to keep one of Larry's greatest traditions alive. Please visit Larry's blog for more details, and do your best to donate as well.
Well the trip up north was a good time, for the most part. We left Thursday morning, around 11 I believe. Got up to the place around 1. It's pretty much an empty house, with some couches and some mattresses on the ground. But it worked just fine for what we wanted to do. So we spent the next half hour or so unloading the van, and then setting up all the equipment. This is when I hate being the drummer. It takes FOREVER to get everything set up, and in just the right place.
After it was all set up, we ate some lunch, and then started playing music. We started off working through our current songs, just getting warmed up. Then we started working on Wyatt's new song. We had a couple ideas floating around, but within an hour or two we had the whole thing mapped out and ready to go. So we spent some time going over to make sure it was all flowing, and we knew where we were supposed to be. After that we ran through the old songs again, and took a break.
Wyatt had brought two of his guns up, so we spent some time shooting in the back yard, just shooting at cans and paper targets. His place is in the middle of the woods, but he still has neighbors next door, but not behind. After that we went through all the songs again, and then had some dinner.
After dinner we did some free jamming, just goofing off. Some interesting stuff was created there, but I doubt it'll become anything. Since it gets dark so early now, we thought it was getting pretty late, but after checking the time we realized it was only about 7:30. They had all been drinking throughout the day, and were running low on beer, so we made a run into town to get some more.
When we got back, we went over and hung out at the neighbor's place for a little while. They said they couldn't really hear the music, which was a good thing. We spent a good hour or so over there, before we invited them over to the house to listen to us. We played them our songs, and then started jamming with them. The dad kind of knew how to play guitar, and his son played bass, so we made it work. They had to work in the morning, so they left around midnight.
By then we were getting kinda tired of playing music, and Wyatt suggested we go to the casino. Now, I'm not a big fan of gambling, most likely because the few times I have, I lost. But I didn't have extra money, so I figured it would be a good way to kill some time. We loaded into the van, and off we went. It was about a half hour drive, and we got there around 1 AM.
Wyatt went off to play some slots, while the rest of us wandered around people watching. It's entertaining, yet rather sad to see some of the people at casinos, always hoping to win the next big jackpot. Wyatt gambled for about an hour before calling it quits, and we went back to his place, promptly going to bed since it was about 2:30 in the morning.
Friday we slowly woke up around 10, and just sat around for a while. The rest of them weren't feeling too well from all the drinking the night before, and I was still tired. We sat and bullshitted for a while, and then made some food. After which, we went to play some more music.
This time, we started off with the old songs, and then started work on my new song. The guys really liked the lyrics and guitar parts I had, but had a little bit of trouble reading the lyrics while playing. I offered to do the lyrics until they got the feel of the song some more, but they were determined to do it, and they slowly got the hang of it.
We took a break after that, and were just sitting around talking when there was a knock on the door. Wyatt got up to answer it, and saw a cop at the door. We assumed it was because of the music, but since it was only about 6 at night, weren't sure why. Turns out, there had been some reports of shooting the area, and they were wondering if we had heard anything. Wyatt told him we had been playing music all day, and hadn't heard anything. So the cop left and went to ask the neighbors. Fortunately, we hadn't done any shooting that day, so we were confidant it wasn't because of us. But the guns were still out in the open, and there were shell casings on the deck, so we went and cleaned those up, and put away the guns, just in case the cops came back.
We decided to do one more run through of the songs before packing up. About halfway through, we stopped and my phone rang. It was Kaija, so I answered it. About halfway through the conversation, Aaron decides he needs to tune his guitar. But his tuner is broken, so he turns his amp back on full volume. Since I can't hear Kaija anymore, I asked him to wait until I was done. But since he was drunk, he harshly replied that he had to tune. Again, I asked him to wait, but he kept saying he needed to tune. So I asked if he could do it without the amp, to which he informed me that he couldn't, because he 'wasn't that good.'
He's always had this thing where he thinks I'm better than him at guitar (which I disagree with), so he said it like, "I'm not as good as you. I can't do that." Which is total bullshit. If you can tune a guitar by ear with an amp, then you can without one. It's just quieter. So I told him to shut the fuck up, as did Wyatt, and he still wouldn't listen. He said, 'You're on a cell phone, right?' 'Yeah...' 'Then go somewhere else!' I had been sitting behind my drums the whole time, and said no, I don't have to go anywhere. He got all defensive at that, and started making more noise. Unfortunately, I dropped the call right then, since I had spotty service. So I sent Kaija a text explaining what happened, and she was cool with it, other than call Aaron an asshole.
So now Wyatt and I are pissed off at Aaron for being a dick, and we both walk away. He went to his room, and I just started cleaning things up. It was about 9, and we wanted to leave no later than 11, so we were going to start cleaning soon anyways. Aaron got all pissed off just started playing the guitar. So I spent the next half an hour doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Then I went and got Wyatt, and we started tearing down the equipment. We didn't say anything to Aaron, I just went over and shut off his amp and kept cleaning. He whined a bit, but then started cleaning. We finally got everything loaded into the van and the house cleaned up, and did a last check to make sure we didn't forget anything.
I was starting to cool off from the incident with Aaron, and he was drunk, so he didn't really care, other than me and Wyatt not really talking to him. Since everyone else was drunk, I was the designated driver. We left right around 11 and headed home.
One the way, Aaron was drunkenly singing along to the radio, which was really annoying. Wyatt was trying to sleep, since he had to work at 8 AM, and I was trying to focus on driving. Finally I yelled at him to shut the fuck up, and again he got defensive. He claimed that if he couldn't enjoy himself, why should we be able to? To which I replied, we're not. Then he told me to find something better to do with my time, besides bitching. So I told him, I am. It's called driving your stupid drunk ass home. He didn't like that, and just said 'bitch bitch bitch.' So I turned up the radio and tried to ignore him.
We finally got back to Wyatt's house, and decided to unload the van the next day, since it was a little after 1 AM. Aaron and Nate got into their car and offered me a ride home, but since they were drunk, I declined. I didn't want them to drive at all, but they live 20 minutes away, and then I wouldn't be able to get home if I drove them. And Wyatt was pissed off so he didn't want them sleeping over. So they drove home drunk, and I was left to walk home in 20 degree weather, with a 100 pound pack on my back. It's about a mile and a half walk home, and took me about 45 minutes. I had on my leather jacket and a sweatshirt, so my upper body was warm, but my legs and face were numb. I tried calling Erik for a ride, but then remembered he had lost his phone the weekend before. I didn't want to wake my parents up, so I just pushed on through the cold and made it home about 2:30 AM. I jumped in the shower quickly to warm up, and then went to bed.
So that was my trip. It had its ups and downs, but I would say on the whole it was a good time. Since it's thanksgiving this week, we won't have practice, and I think the extra week in between will be good for us.
This seems long. I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be so bad. But if you made it this far, I applaud you. Thanks for sticking through it all. I wanted to say more, but I think I'll wait until another time since this got so long.
Hope ALL of you are well, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving, however you are spending it.
Tomorrow the band and I are driving up to Wyatt's 'cabin' for a couple days for a nice long jam session. I say 'cabin' because his mom bought a house about an hour and a half north, but hasn't moved in yet, so they use it kinda like a cabin. Hopefully we'll be able to finish writing a few songs, and maybe even write some new ones. I finally brought 'Dixie' to the band, from a few posts ago, and we're working it into a song. I wrote the guitar parts and drums, and now we just have to make it work and get the lyrics to fit right. Since I wrote it as a two vocal song, I might end up singing, or 'rapping', the other part. Our guitar player Aaron was going to do it, but doesn't feel confidant about doing it on top of playing the guitar. So we'll see what happens with that. You guys might get to hear me some more. I just hope it turns out better than the chorus that I sing on.
So I'll be back Friday night sometime.
Last Saturday I went to see a career counselor for the first time. My parents saw him about 5 years ago, and it helped them out, so they thought it would be good for me. I'm not sure if I want to keep going to school for addiction counseling, so this might give me another option or two. I don't know how long it'll take, but probably a couple months, meeting once a week. Should be interesting though.
Not much else really going on, life's pretty boring right now. I'm just not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm bored all the time, and feel like I'm wasting my life, but at the same time, there isn't any drama going on. Oh well. That's life I guess. Ups and downs.
Gabe posted a thing about not being bothered by words like queer, faggot, and whatnot. It reminded me of an article I had read a couple years ago about local punk band Faggot. Their singer, Tim Carrol, is gay, and in the article he explains on why he chose the name Faggot for the band. It's an odd story, as is the band, but I think he makes a good point about the name. If you'll bear through the more obscene, radical descriptions about the band, I think you'll find a good message. I'm sure the rest of the article you won't care about, so his story about this is on page 2.
Tim had something horrific happen in his life, and while he let it get to him for a while, he finally decided not to let it anymore. He is using that experience to try and make a difference, even if it involves wearing taco underwear and painting FAGGOT across his forehead.
What do you guys think about words like faggot and queer, and their offensive meanings?
