Ok, I'm having a dilemma and I need some help/advice from you guys.
This past spring was when I finally came to the conclusion and acceptance that I am gay. Obviously, this took up quite a bit of my time, spending hours late at night thinking things over and whatnot. Then I found the blog world, and I spent even more time trying to learn as much as I could, and help me figure out what the hell was going on with me.
I was going to school at the time, and didn't do too well. I had to drop a class for medical reasons (unrelated to anything), I passed one, and I got an incomplete on another because I need to finish my paper (still). Well the school says that because I didn't 'pass' 2/3 of my classes, that I am on academic suspension. So basically I can't register for classes in the fall. I can for next spring though.
As you would expect, my parents weren't too thrilled to hear about this. Now they want to know what happened, and why I didn't pass my classes. They understand about the dropped class, but they don't get why I got an incomplete. I told them about the paper, but they still want a reason.
So basically, I'm wondering if I should tell them the truth, that I'm gay, or make up something else? I don't want to lie to my parents, but this is huge. And not exactly how I want to come out. I'm 95% sure they will be fine with it, although maybe surprised, but there is always a chance of something going wrong. I don't know what to do.
So I've come to the one place I can talk about this and ask for help. So please, give me some feedback on what to do. I'm freaking out and am scared shitless and don't know what to do.
Thank you all.
143
_Kevin
Geometric Wallpaper Design Patterns
4 years ago
I don't know if you want to hear from a 14 year old, but if you read my blog, from the start I wanted to tell my parents what was in my head. I fought a while about being gay and then after a lot of questions on the internet I just knew I was gay so I have accepted it now. I wanted to tell my parents just because if I didn't then I was going to be just like you are now and my grades would been bad to. My parents know now, but if you read my blog, not the way I wanted them to find out. I think your problem is a lot easier then you think. I found out my parents guessed I was gay before I got caught. Explain to them everything you went through the last few months and how it did make things in school a lot harder to do. What we go through I think is really hard on us and makes us worry way more then we should have to. Being gay is not easy and hard to accept at first. It takes all your time just thinking what to do, how to hide it and what you are going to do when people find out. I am glad my parents know because they really support me with it all now. I can ask questions from them now and not have to go hunt the internet for answers. Plus they will back me up when I need help.
ReplyDeleteThis is one those times you do need help and having them on your side is better then trying to lie to them. I really don't know if this is what you was looking for, but I don't think the school is the problem. I think explaining to your parents why is the problem. If you trust your parents and you should, then just explain what happened and be honest. hugs JJ
SP,
ReplyDeleteYeh, talking to parents about sex is bad at the best of times. It's also difficult for them; they most likely think drugs are to blame, so the possibility of you being gay is not so bad, eh?
If you come out of the closet, it allows them to judge you; you may lose control of the talk. If you ask for their help, they may be more supportive. So...
Tell them of your dilemma, but it is still unresolved, you are still not sure. You do recognise a good-looking girl, but you get the hots for a good looking boy too. From talking to the other guys, it seems to be girls only for them.
As your parents can imagine, this is pretty worrying for you, and it's what affected your grades so badly.
That way, they are able to help you, and it's always a great compliment when someone asks you for help (like us now!).
In fact, they may be able to approach school and ask for some leniency. You may need to see the doc and get a piece of paper to give the school. Would school worry if you were gay?
It seems that closet-opening has to be assisted. V. few guys are able to find just the right time to come out. I reckon this is as good a time as any for you to come out.
Good luck,
r.jimlad
JJ, isn't it 2am at Lake Tahoe????
ReplyDeleteI just can't think of a thing to add to JJ's and R.Jimlad's comments. Both of them have given me an even better perspective of things. I really like the way JJ explained how things were/are for him. He amazes me at times how well he can do this. And his experience is fresh. It sounds like good advice to me.
ReplyDeleteGood luck from me too,
Brian
Yah JJ covered it. But school is crazy important, and would u rather ur rents think ur gay or a slacker?
ReplyDeleteIDK what i would do really. But i've almost come out to my rents under a lot less worse problems.
Good Luck
Gabe
Kevin
ReplyDeleteIt's weird how folks kinda worry over things. I havent told my parents yet either but eh man, I won't be 16 for another few months yet so I got time. I read some place a guy was really down on hiself for living all his life without telling no one. I kinda thought that was sad. maybe if ya'll just take the chance and do it at least ya won't never need to worry over it no more. I think my daddy gonna go crazy so I might never tell him, but I worry that my momma heart will break, I don't want to hurt them. Some times things are hard dude, but I think you can know whats best for your own self. My bf is a little older than me and he's real cool to keep it a secret an all, maybe thats why I think theres no need to tell anyone else.
dang, I think I talkin' to much, so, if I was gonna tell my parents then I guess I would just come right out and say it. Maybe leave the screen door a lil open so ya'll can run out real fast if ya need too.
Shane
PS There's a country tune, I like country, It goes if you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance ^5