Falling

Have You Ever


So Grandpa came home today. He seems to be doing good, which is nice. We'll see how things go.

For the last couple of weeks, my mom has been asking me what I want for Christmas. Other than the obvious, cloths, drumsticks, and some truck parts that need to be replaced, I haven't had much of an answer for her. Just stuff I need. What I really want to say to her, is that I'm gay, and I want your continued love and support. I think that would be the greatest gift ever.

I'm still pretty sure both my parents will be fine with me being gay, but it's still an unknown, and I hate unknowns. I'd love to just know what they're reaction would be, before it happens. Over the last few months there have been plenty of opportunities to tell them, or at least my mom, but I've always chickened out. I would be sitting there thinking about it, and I could feel myself getting physically nervous. My hands would start to shake, and I'd start to sweat. Not to mention the erratic thoughts going through my head. What should I say? How will they take it? Do I really want to do this? Do I really NEED to do this? So in the end I always backed out.

The one thing I'm really excited about this Christmas, is that my cousin Roger, who I came out to earlier this year, will be coming to town for about a week. He flies in the day after xmas, and leaves New Years Eve. I can't wait to see him, and give him the biggest hug EVER. There were times right after I told him, I thought about driving the 11 hours to see him at school, just to hug him. Then I realized that would cost about $500 in gas, so I didn't. I want to thank him, tell him how much he means to me, and how grateful I am that not only is in my life, but that he didn't reject me after I told him. I think it's going to be an emotional time for me, and I better plan it so we're not surrounded by the rest of the family at the time.

So that's what I'm most excited for about Christmas. Yes, the rest of the family stuff will be fun, but with the recent gloomy events, this is a great way to help pick myself up.

If I don't talk to you guys before, have a wonderful and safe Christmas, however you choose to celebrate it. That is, if you celebrate Christmas. If not, be well, and still be safe.

143

_Kevin

After my more sad song at the top, let's get the festivities started! What better way to celebrate Christmas, the holiday recognizing Jesus' birth, than with Bad Religion. (I'm horrible, I know.)