A Time Of Death, A Time Of Life

So, in a time already filled with death (my uncle, almost my grandpa, and my mom's friend dying SLOWLY from brain cancer), what more could I need? How about more death. Although, this time more removed. Last Sunday, my friend Wyatt's grandma died. He and his mom lived with her, so I saw her on a regular basis, and surprisingly, she was very supportive of our music. She loved it when we came over for practice. She was very tolerant for a 90 year old woman.

Anyways, her funeral was today, which I went to with my parents. It was the first funeral I've been to not as a kid, and actually understanding what's going on. It was a rather surreal experience. A relatively small service, and her pastor came to speak. Instead of doing a eulogy, they did a DVD presentation of pictures from her life. A really beautiful piece of work. They started with the song Amazing Grace on piano and someone singing, and then at the end of the service they played it again, but this time played on the bagpipes. The second version really moved me for some reason. I'm not a huge bagpipe fan, or Amazing Grace fan, but something about it struck me.

Today being NYE, I went over to Kaija and Ian's place for the night. It was just the three of us, and her mom, and the baby, hanging out watching movies and playing games. It was a great time. This is the first low-key NYE I've had in years. Usually I'm the sober cab for my brother and friends, going around to all the different parties. So it was a nice change of pace.

But I got some exciting news while I was over there today. Kaija and Ian are going to have ANOTHER baby! Addie, their first, just turned six months old last week, and now there's another on the way. They said it wasn't planned, but not prevented either. Just an inevitable accident, like Addie. So that's really exciting. I hope it's a boy this time.

Roger came, and left. I hung out with him for a couple days. I had this whole thing planned out when I saw him where I'd give him a big hug, tell him all this stuff, say how much I appreciate him and all he's done, etc...

But you know what happens when I plan stuff? Nothing. When I first saw him, I gave him a hug, but other family was around, so I left it at that, figuring I'd do it later. But we spent most of our time with the rest of the family. We went and saw the British Advertising Awards at the Walker Art Center, watched a film on the Hubble telescope at the Minnesota Science Museum, and just visited with everyone. Quite a fun week actually.

Tuesday night he spent the night at my house. I figured at some point my coming out would come up, and we'd have 'the' conversation I'd been planning. But you know what? He never said anything about it. At first it kind of surprised me, since it was such a major part of my life, and he was acting like nothing had changed. And then it dawned on me, to him, nothing had changed. I was the same person I always had been. And that had a huge impact on me, and increased my love for him even more.

He had asked how my life had been since I'd talked to him last, and I said it was going. Not good, not bad. I still don't know if he ever read my post that I sent him about the suicide thing, but he cared enough to seriously ask how I was.

So I left it at that. Never brought anything up. Once he left, and I realized I never said anything about it, I thought about sending him a text thanking him again, or something like that, but then realized that nothing needed to be said. He did what he did, we had our words then, and nothing more needed to be done. But I still wish I could see him more. I might have to go to Indiana and visit him this year.

So that's the closest to a new years post as you're going to get from me. I'm not going to completely review the whole year like some people. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just lazy, and don't want to do it.

But I would like to thank you all that come here and read what I have to say. Comment or not, anonymous or not, you're here, and that means a lot to me. Thank you all.

Hope you guys are well.

143

_Kevin